


*Shocked Pikachu Meme*

by Karumasa



Series: Shenanigans of a Spider Enhanced Teen [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: 5+1 Things, Attempt at Humor, Civil War Team Iron Man, Cute, Fluff, Gen, Irondad, Light Swearing, No Bashing, Not Beta Read, Parent Tony Stark, Precious Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, We Die Like Men, also, but honestly thats as good as it gets, id say the title is a work in progress, just general leeriness that would be expected after an event like civil war, spiderson, this wasnt supposed to be a 5+1 but i guess it is now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 13:46:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17705384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karumasa/pseuds/Karumasa
Summary: 5 times Peter left the Rogue Avengers shocked speechless + 1 time they got (somewhat) over it.





	*Shocked Pikachu Meme*

**Author's Note:**

> dad!tony is #1 and anyone who disagrees can catch these hands

** 1 **

Having the Rogue Avengers pardoned and back at the compound was rough at the beginning. Still rough if Tony was being completely honest. There had been a lot of trust throw away during what the public called the superhero “Civil War.” So, there was a lot to fix if The Avengers ever wanted to get anywhere near what they had before. And it was a slow process, but it was a process none the less.

Tony congratulated himself on the daily for becoming so used to the Rogues that he very rarely had to hide the urge to flinch whenever one of them came towards him or raised their voices. Especially when at the start of this re-cohabitation he could barely stand to be in the same room without fear of a panic attack.

So, things were slow, but getting better. That didn’t mean that Tony’s fight or flight response didn’t activate when he saw all the Rogues gathered and whispering in the common room. Even before the Civil War something like that would’ve put him on edge.

Clearing his throat, Tony stepped further into the room, eyeing everyone wearily. His suspicion spiked when Steve jumped at the noise. But Tony didn’t get the time to worry that the man’s advanced hearing missed him when a flash of red and gold caught his eye. Looking over Steve’s shoulder, Tony had no idea how he missed it when he first walked in.

Because behind the Rogues, covering a giant section of a common room wall, was a mural of the Iron Man armor made of sticky notes. Tony gaped, shocked into silence.

“We asked Friday, but she said that you didn’t have it put up and she wouldn’t tell us who did.”

The sound of Steve’s voice knocked Tony out of his stupor. Ignoring the man, Tony walked up to the mural. Oh, Tony knew exactly who would do something like this. Quickly taking a picture, he dialed the supposed culprit.

“Mr. Stark!”

“Kid, just how long did it take for you to do this?”

Tony kicked himself mentally for how monotone his voice was when nervous laughter came through the phone’s speakers.

“Like… four-ish hours? I think? It probably would’ve taken less but I kept getting distracted. And there was one point where I thought I wouldn’t have enough sticky notes! Especially since gold sticky notes aren’t exactly a thing and I had to color yellow ones with gold sharpie. Which was another thing I thought I was going to run out of even though Friday told me I had more than enough.” Peter’s rambling broke off into a soft whisper. “You, um, you’re not mad right, Mr. Stark?”

The sad, unsure tone of Peter’s voice snapped Tony right back into present time.

“God, no. No, I’m not mad. This is amazing, kid. And four hours? Really? This shit looks like it would’ve taken so much longer. Especially with how accurate it looks.” Tony didn’t attempt to hide the pride in his voice, even as he steadily ignored the curious stares from the others. “In fact, if I got a big enough frame, how would you feel about transferring it so it’s less likely to fall apart?”

Something fell on the other end as Peter started spluttering. “You don’t have to do that, Mr. Stark! Really, it’s fine! They’re just sticky notes so it can just be taken down.”

Tony scoffed. “All that time and hard work just to tear it to shreds? I think not, Petey-Pie, unless that’s what you really want. But if you wanna keep it then we’re damn well keeping it.”

The stares got heavier, heating the side of Tony’s body. But he kept his focus on the boy at the other end of the call.

“If it’s not too much trouble…?” Came the quiet reply.

A smile spread across Tony’s face. “Friday? Could you order some materials for me? Looks like I got a frame to make.”

Friday’s “’Course, Boss” sounded over the common room speakers the same time Peter’s excited “Make?! Can I help?!” came from Tony’s phone.

Laughing, Tony answered, “It’s just a frame but sure, kid. See when you have the time and come over.”

“Sweet! I’ll ask Aunt May! Bye Mr. Stark!”

“Yeah, talk to you later, kid.”

Ending the call, Tony rounded on the Rogues and pointed a finger at them, warning them. “If any of you even so much as breathe on that mural I’ll personally make sure that your next two months here at the compound are hell on Earth.”

 Satisfied with the level of shock and weariness on everyone’s face, Tony left.

On week later would find him and Peter in a sanctioned off common room carefully moving sticky notes to the backboard of a sleek, black metal frame.

 

 

** 2 **

The first time the Rogues meet Peter is a couple months after the sticky note mural incident. With the amount of time Tony had walked out rooms and meetings muttering ‘idiot teens’ and ‘smartass interns’ had the Rogues’ curiosity at an all time high. To say the first meeting was interesting would be an understatement. In fact, they didn’t even realize they were face to face with this infamous ‘Peter’ at first.

To be fair, it had been right after a fight with some stubborn blob monsters and all the Avengers had wanted to do was shower before collapsing onto the nearest horizontal surface. Being immediately faced with a shocked looking teen and a horde of Roombas in the common room had not been part of the plan.

Still high of adrenaline, the Rogues braced themselves for another fight until Tony pushed in front of them suitless.

“What the hell?”

The teen just pointed at Tony and said, “In my defense, I was left unsupervised.”

Everything was silent until Tony gave a defeated sigh.

“Alright,” The mechanic gestured towards the small robots. “Hit me. What’re their names?”

The teen visibly brightened before dragging Tony over to where the Roombas had gathered in a neat semi-circle.

Pointing to each one, the teen meticulously and excitably named off each of the robots.

“First is Robo! She got the name because every time something with Robocop showed up she got excited. Next to her is Beep.” The small robot gave a high-pitched beep. “He’s very talkative. Next is Coco because he refuses to clean anything that isn’t cocoa or chocolate based. After him is Curtsy. She likes to play hide and seek.” Leaning in close, the boy whispered in Tony’s ear. “Her favorite hiding place is behind the curtains, but the longer it takes for someone to find her the happier she is.” Leaning back, he bounced on the balls of his feet excitedly while waving towards the last Roomba. “Last, but not least, is Count Suckula! He’s extremely nocturnal.”

The Rogues watched as Tony nodded throughout the entire explanation before crouching down and introducing himself.

“Hey, little guys. My name is Tony, but I get the feeling you know that already, don’t you?” Multiple beeps answered him. “Good, good. Does that mean you also know that all of you are going to have to stay in the common room?” Another series of beeps answered him. “Awesome. Otherwise, have fun. Don’t forget to recharge every now and then.” Tony gave each of the Roombas a pat before standing.

Steve figured this was a good time to interrupt. Clearing his throat, he waited for both Tony and the teen to turn towards him. Waving towards the teen, his voice was confused as he asked, “Tony, this is….?”

Watching Tony smirk and pull the teen closer via an arm around the shoulders left the Rogues shocked at how natural it looked.

“Everyone, this is my intern Peter.”

 

 

** 3 **

The second meeting was just as short as the first, but this time it was with only Steve in the communal kitchen at 6:04 am.

The teen – _Peter_ , Steve had to remind himself – came sliding into the kitchen in a hurry, mumbling “I’m late, I’m late, I’m so late” under his breath while wearing a backpack. The young brunet was opening and closing cupboards at a quick pace before Friday’s calm voice directed him.

“Two doors to your right, Mini Boss.”

_Mini Boss?_

Hearing a quick thanks and then nothing, Steve looks up from where he was standing with the beginnings of breakfast preparation, he saw the young boy frozen.

“Um, do you need help with something.”

That seemed to bring Peter back.

“Oh! I’m sorry. I’m just not used to people being up this early.” Peter gave a sheepish smile. “But, if you’d excuse me, I need to get into the cupboard in front of you, Mr. Rogers.”

“Just Steve is fine,” he said while moving to the side.

Peter was quick to open the cupboard and snatch an entire box of granola bars off the top shelf. Steve watched the boy as he ripped one of the bars open before throwing a quick “Thanks!” over his shoulder and running out of the kitchen, not giving Steve a chance to respond.

Silently, Steve wondered if all his interactions with the boy were going to leave him feeling like his got whiplash.

 

 

** 4 **

Out of the corner of his eye, Tony saw the Rogue Avengers enter the common room. But on the premise of staring a smug looking Peter down he ignored their presence all together.

“You have five seconds.”

Peter’s face dropped into confusion.

“One.”

The Rogues watched the teen take a step back.

“Two.”

A sharp intake of breath was heard as Peter took a couple more steps backwards, almost bumping into the coffee table behind him.

“Five.”

Peter gave a squeal as he turned and ran off through the West Wing door, Tony hot on his heels.

The room was draped in silence as the receding footsteps faded, leaving the Rogue Avengers to stare at the silly string covered room in shock.

 

 

** 5 **

Peter walked into the Compound’s common room only to immediately try and retreat when he saw the annoyed looks on the Rogue Avengers’ faces. His attempt was thwarted when the Winter Soldier – _Bucky_ , Peter thought, _Bucky_ , _Bucky_ , _Bucky, I really should be able to remember that dammit_ – caught sight of him and subsequently so did Steve Rogers.

“Umm, hi?”

While he still held some hero worship for the people sitting in the room, just the way that their presence had a way of making his mentor extremely uncomfortable makes him cautious.

It was the Falcon – _His name is Sam, get it together Peter_ – who broke the heavy tension in the room.

“You wouldn’t happen to know any good ideas on how to get Tony out of the lab for a meal, would you?”

Peter shifted where he stood, uncomfortable with so many eyes watching him.

“Why?”

This time it was Steve who answered. “He never joins us for team dinners and we never see him in the kitchen.” The super soldier shrugged. “We have no idea when, where, or how often he’s eating.”

“Uh-huh,” Peter said while nodding. “Well, I don’t know what to tell you. My plan only works because it’s me.”

At the confused looks, Peter sighed.

“Friday?”

“How can I help, Mini Boss?”

Various shocked sounds came from the Rogues.

“When’s the last time Mr. Stark ate?”

“7 hours and 43 minutes ago.”

Nodding, Peter held a hand up when it looked like the Rogues were about to say something.

“Could you call Mr. Stark for me?”

Friday’s voice was cheerful as she replied. “Of course, Mini Boss.”

Ahh the joys of conspiring AIs.

The silence that had fell at Peter’s prompting was broken by Tony’s voice coming from Friday’s speakers.

“What’s up, Pete? Get lost on your way down?”

Peter felt himself smile at his mentor’s teasing tone.

“Nah, I’m just hungry and there’s not a whole lot here that doesn’t have to be prepared and cooked. I was wondering if we could get something?”

“Hmm, yeah I really need to restock.” The sounds of tools being put away were crystal clear from the speakers. “But sure, we can get something to eat. I need a break anyway. You just got here but how do you feel about going to some new Italian restaurant that just opened?”

Peter bit his lip to keep from laughing. “Sounds fine to me.”

“Alright. Garage in 5?” came Tony’s warm voice.

“Okay!”

The shell-shocked look on all the Rogues’ faces had Peter smiling for the rest of the night.

(And when questioned by Tony – because he _knew_ that there was enough food—the only thing Peter said was that he needed to affirm his position as Tony’s number one favorite. A hand carding through his hair and Tony saying that he’d always be his favorite had Peter smiling for the next week.)

 

 

** +1 **

Tony was Not HappyTM. By the time he’d had time to work on something other than SI and Accord paperwork he’d run out of coffee in the workshop. And what was more of a minor annoyance became irrevocably irritating when he was dragged from the communal kitchen’s coffee machine and into the common room for team movie night and dinner.

All he had wanted to do was relax and prepare for when Peter arrived. He only got so much time to spend with the kid between their schedules and he wanted to make the best of it damnit.

But Tony _was_ actually trying to be nice to the Rogues. While he was still fairly uncomfortable around them, they had come far. So, he put up with being dragged along with minimal fuss. His only stipulation being that whatever they ordered, they had better double it. He got a few confused looks, but they ordered twice as much food easily enough.

Because god only knows when’s the last time Peter actually ate. The boy’s stomach was a black hole worse than both super soldiers’ and Tony would be damned if the Spiderling didn’t get enough.

Settling down in one of the loveseats alone, Tony texted Peter.

‘Everyone just ordered Thai so I had them order extra in case you want some.’

_‘yeah! thanks! let me just finish my homework and i’ll swing by!’_

‘I could send Happy.’

_‘no!’_

_‘swinging is fine! it’s faster anyway’_

‘Peter…’

_‘ok so’_

_‘i may have drank too many energy drinks?’_

_‘we thought they wouldn’t affect me because of my metabolism and everything!’_

_‘but they suddenly hit and now I’m all jittery’_

_‘and swinging to the compound might help me calm down???’_

Tony sighed once he read the stream of texts.

‘Just be careful. And we’re checking how much caffeine is too much the next time we have a chance.’

_‘ok!!!’_

A paragraph worth of emojis followed Peter’s last text and Tony just sat back, preparing himself for what was most likely going to be an overcharged mutant teen coming through those doors soon enough.

And damn if Tony didn’t call it.

It only took about 15 minutes after the food had arrived for the West Wing doors to slide open and for Tony to suddenly have a hyper genius pressed against his side on the loveseat.

The water dripping from Peter’s curls and onto Tony’s shirt was a give away that the teen had showered before coming to eat. The almost constant bouncing the teen was doing also told on how much swinging to the compound didn’t help calm him down.

Rapid fire “Food, food, food” coming from Peter’s mouth solidified that he was still hyped on what was probably an unholy amount of caffeine and sugar.

Tony dragged half of the Thai food closer with difficulty as the teen refused to let go of him.

“Jesus, Peter.” Tony laughed even as he silently messaged Friday to scan the boy. While it didn’t look like anything was wrong beyond the extra energy, he wanted to make sure. Friday’s results saying nothing was out of the norm made him relax. “What happened to calming down on your way here?”

The teen only shrugged, cheeks puffing with food.

Sighing in both exasperation and fondness, Tony tossed some napkins onto Peter’s lap. “Slow down, kid. No one’s gonna take your food.”

Tony felt Peter freeze from where he was still pressed flush against the engineer’s side. He watched the teen swallow before glaring at the Rogues.

“If any of you touch my food, I’ll make you eat your hands.”

Choking on the mouthful of noodles Tony had just taken, he laughed at the Rogues’ shocked faces.

The shock quickly turned into concern as they watched the teen pack away box after box of take-out.

“Tony.”

The man in question turned and looked at Steve. “Yeah?”

The super soldier cleared his throat.

“Is it okay for Peter to be eating that much? He ate even more than I did.”

Tony just waved off the man’s concern.

“It’s fine. Both me and Friday checked and he’s in no danger from eating the amount he does.” At Steve’s unconvinced face, Tony continued. “Besides,” He said as he pinched the teen’s side, earning a yelp. “He’s as skinny as a twig.”

The indignant noise Peter made had Tony laughing.

“Daaaaaaad! I’m perfectly fine! Fighting fit!” Peter whined.

The air in the common room seemed to freeze once what Peter had said sunk in. Tony just bit his lip to stop from laughing. The look on the Rogues’ faces was priceless. He’d have to remember to ask Friday to save a photo of it.

Besides, this isn’t the first time Peter has called him dad. He’s been calling Tony that off and on, but much more consistently lately, for the last few months. It’s just that he’s never said it around the Rogues. The Rogues who think he’s only an intern, even if they don’t understand why an intern would come all the way to the compound when Stark Tower was still running.

(And god if being petty didn’t fill Tony with immense joy. Keeping the tower and renaming it back to Stark was worth the pinched look on Steve’s face that first day everyone was pardoned.)

It took Peter looking up from where he was scrolling through the movie library and asking, “Did I say something?” for the silence to break.

“Dad!?”

 

**Author's Note:**

> i really want a roomba but i'm nothing more than a measly broke college student
> 
>  
> 
> [tumblr](http://karumasa.tumblr.com)


End file.
